i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
