Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
