Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
