what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize