i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
