We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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