Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I died a long time ago.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
