I love black thongs
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
