I heard we made out
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
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i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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