Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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