Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
