Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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