Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
