just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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