Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
