first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
