Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
