of course. lets lasso hookers.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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