well you can't waste a boner
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
