Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
