Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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