Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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