my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I believe in your delicious
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
