i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The best revenge is premature balding
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
