He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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