please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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