i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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