you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Can I color on your dick again?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
