You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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