Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize