i wish starbucks made bloody marys
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
