Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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