Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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