i think my tv is drunk
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The adults are the big ones right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
