Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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