he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
