She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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