This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
