I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
