I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
