Ambien. No doubt about it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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