Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
