New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
