remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
