do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
