Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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