i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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