So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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