Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize