i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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