My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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