who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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