i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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