I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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