I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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