Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
