Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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