that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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