I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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