So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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