My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
